On my flight Tuesday , the dude sitting next to me was staring at my laptop the entire time . Look , I know the middle seat sucks . And on-key , Gulliver ’s Travels is a great flick . But knock it off !
hoi polloi depend over your shoulder at your laptop . It ’s an incredibly teasing and increasingly common number . Wifi is seemingly everywhere in public spaces now , so much that when it ’s not present it ’s almost surprising . And so quite often we ’re sitting around with our laptops open on airplanes , or trains , or in cafes around a caboodle of strangers . Moreover , modern laptops all tend to have viewing angles wider than your mom ’s behind , making it super easy ( and tempting ) to check out our neighbour ’s screen door .
This is more than just an annoyance though . It ’s a security system risk of exposure . You never know when the person looking over your shoulder might be hoping to catch you inputting a password . Or it might just happen to be one of your challenger , who gets an eyefull of your confidential written document . Not only do you have a right to ask Johnny Looks - a - Lot to contain , you ’ve aim a obligation to make that peeping degenerate strike hard it off .
There are a few ways to go about it .
Tactic One : Passive
This is probably the most common matter I see citizenry do when they notice a side - eye . They slant themselves so that their screenland confront away from the peeper , or so that their dead body physically blocks the display . This is pitiable . You should never move just because an aggressor has violated your space . That ’s like frame up a fencing to keep the neighbors out of your kitty when clearly , you should drown them .
Tactic Two : Passive Aggressive
Here ’s another usual tactic . You notice someone is looking at your screen . So you fire up Twitter , or Facebook , or an IM chat window and typecast something ostensibly for a third company but actually designed for your viewer like , “ this dude is totally reading over my shoulder right now . So bothersome ! ”
You lie with what else is pesky ? Passive aggressive banker’s bill . If you ’re get going to do this , at least have the decency to write it in 40 point type so your nemesis will in reality see it . It might dishonour your looker-on into facing ahead again , but it also might just make the soul disport or even bolder .
And the people on the receiving end of your IM or Tweet ? They ’re going to think you ’re rickety than a generic newspaper towel soaking in a pool of O’Douls .
Tactic Three : Aggressive
Now we ’re catch somewhere . The aggressive move is to simply face the person . A simple “ hey , please cease looking at my screen door , ” is in force . Being polite yet immobile is fundamental . You do n’t have to go full on guns - glaring . After all , beau is probably just bored , and you may be sitting next to each other a great deal longer .
But there ’s a big drawback here : your secret voyeur can simply deny that he or she was look at your screenland . And then what will you do ? Call him or her a liar ? Of course , even if they do deny it , your problem is likely already solved . Most people wo n’t look again . It would take orangutan clump to stare at your screen again after being verbally chastised for doing so . But others unquestionably will . ( Like me ! )
Oop - oop , motherfucker . Oop - oop .
Tactic Four : Full Frontal Assault
Nobody has a right hand to front at your screen without your permission . Well , other than the IT guy in your office who is in all likelihood already be after to pressure you one day . Anyone else is put a visual intrusion , and you need to counterattack their eyeballs . I have a pet method .
This is a Goatse moment . A opportunity for Tubgirl to bath in the warmsantorumof her porcelain chamber . Time to throw off a lemon political party . Four words : two girls one cup . When I capture somebody secretly looking at my silver screen , I hit back with a daze website .
Timing is everything . In the twinkling before I pull up whatever vile and degrading filth I ’ve chosen , I trickily look at the mortal peeping at my screen . It ’s lively to catch them in the bit of reacting . Almost certainly , they will be shocked . At the very least , surprised . Human nature will then unconsciously cause them to expect up at me , to see just what sort of horrify man being it is that they wound up next to , here in prat 17B.
And that ’s when they see me already looking back at them , smiling sweet , and moving my hand ever so slowly closemouthed ( oh so very , very stuffy ! ) to theirs . It ’s a delightfully worrisome way to make unwanted eyeballs never bet your way again .
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