As much as we like to think we ’re so much more advanced than people in the Middle Ages , we ’re in reality not too different . Here are a few bit of advice from that era — some you might want to follow , and some you should definitely not .
1. Feign Illness to Put Off a Suitor
The Book of the Civilized Manby Daniel of Beccles ( thirteenth C ) is one of the first English courtesy book , or book of etiquette . It covers faux pas like , say , mounting your horse indoors rather than outdoors , or slip the silverware at a feast , and delineates who gets to pee in the dining way ( only the host , obviously ) . Its advice is often timeless , such as inthis pillowcase :
Next clock time you sham a cough to check an undesirable suitor , think about Daniel of Beccles and think back that history is full of little blank lies .
2. Vomit Every Morning For Your Health
Some advicemanualsor books of guidance , called “ mirrors for prince , ” were specifically geared toward kings and ruler . These included school of thought of governance , tips on who to hope , dietary regimens , and strategy for warfare and peace . TheSecretum Secretorum , or theSecret of Secrets , is a textbook on royal doings from 1326/1327 that was present to Edward III when he was begin what would test to be a foresightful and relatively successful reign . The text is most likely an version of a far older Arabic textual matter . However , it arrogate to be a letter from Aristotle to Alexander the Great .
TheSecretum Secretorumgives an thorough catalogue of things that can bear on the wellness of a world-beater , from the seasons to astrology to when wine-coloured is consume during the daytime . This head to a funny list of dos and don’ts :
So , call back : retch every break of day , and quash doing anything unpleasant . That is , asunder from emesis every morning .
3. Judge a Man by His Feet
Another section of theSecretum Secretorumaddresses the pseudoscience of smiler , which is based on the melodic theme that a person ’s outer appearance directly represent to their demeanour and personality . The text identify all variations of a someone ’s feature , from the shape of the eye to the length of the arms , and jolly much arbitrarily assigns positive or negative traits to each . So exhaustive is the text thateven the feetaren’t depart out . After all , no king want to have an advisor with goosey , opprobrious calf .
Take this advice to center when making raw friends and you ’ll never have to worry about your buddies deceive you because of the wickedness of their lilliputian , perfidious feet .
4. Woo a Woman With Food
The 12th century textDe amore(The graphics of Courtly Love ) does not have many positive affair to say about maidens . In fact , its author , Andreas Capellanus , takes pains to emphasize that women are ambidextrous , mercurial , and covetous . Among his list of the weakness of women is one item , though , that sound familiar :
The similarity this description hold to today ’s pop Everywoman characters like Liz Lemon is passably striking . Although the advice here is that a woman will do anything for a meal , the 2d part of this statement picture us something timeless . As misleading as Capellanus ’s other judgments on woman can be , this reflection seems to be directly alluding to how , almost a millenary after , a girl ’s best friend is often a whole family - sized affair of bite , eaten alone in layer .
5. Avoid Camel Froth at All Costs
Magia Naturalis , orNatural Magic , was one of the most popular books of scientific discipline in the former Renaissance / late Middle Ages period . write by Giambattista della Porta in 1588 , it covered medication , cookery , geology , beauty , and chemistry , as well as numerous other disciplines . It was not , however , a peculiarly accurate resource on most of these topics . Many of the formula for cosmetics involved toxicant ingredient such as quicksilver , or required the disemboweling of a somewhat exorbitant amount of livestock for a facewash .
In the culinary subdivision , Natural Magiccontains a confusing piece of advice on promote inebriety :
It seems a bit like the wine is doing most of the legwork here , but camel ’s froth sounds like the material plenty .
6. Cure Baldness with Onions
Like many medieval texts that went through multiple rounds of translation , theRegimen Sanitatis Salernitanumis likely come from an Arabic oeuvre . In fact , this same original text , Sirr al - asrar , is the source of the aesculapian material in theSecretum Secretorum .
TheRegimen Sanitatis Salernitanumprovides a riches of advice on various herb , foods , handling , and household matters . It include selective information on the properties of mustard seed , fennel , Milk River , meat , and wine , as well as this dental care hint : “ Likewise take fear of your teeth : foregather the seminal fluid of the leek , Burn them with the juice of the henbane , And direct the smoke toward your tooth through a funnel . ” TheRegimenalso has a surprising solution to anage - previous trouble :
Say what you like about the olfactory perception , but anyone familiar with whisker plug malfunction have it away that there are more savage ways to battle baldness .
7. Lose Weight With Cow Dung and Wine
The Trotulais a collection of three text , composed by a 12th C female physician known as Trota of Salerno , which dealt mainly with medicine and char ’s wellness . It ’s a fascinating text , which acknowledges the cosmos of distaff desire , but it contain a near deal of what we think of as hocus pocus as well . Take , for exemplar , this weight lossadvice :
On the one deal , yes , it vocalise stupid . But on the other , an experimental spa could probably get away with charge $ 3000 for this .
8. Don’t Fart While Dancing
other sixteenth century dance theorist Antonius de Arena really did n’t mince dustup when it came to the o.k. points of societal etiquette . Although his textThe Rules of Dancingis meant to be an pedagogy in the basse trend of dance , there is a very pointed digression that wee you wonder what kind of gang de Arena wasdealing with .
Yeah , do n’t eat leeks or onion before the terpsichore ! You ’re going to require them for your bald spot .
A version of this story run in 2014 ; it has been updated for 2021 .
